So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
