Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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