I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
