I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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