I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
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Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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