Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
