Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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