It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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