Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
