i jhust puked up my retainher.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
