Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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