We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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