Do vagina's smell?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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