is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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