Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
