It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so let's talk penis.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
