She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
