hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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