found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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