barbara walters just said penis...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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