Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
