I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
