yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
