i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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