you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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