Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
