She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
