It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
