You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
