Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
