Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
