Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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