I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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