hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
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We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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