You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
