I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
