Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He better not be in your backpack
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
