new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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