I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
