If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize