he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize