There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
smell my finger.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
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my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize