You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
