Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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