that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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