we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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