Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
