well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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