I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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