At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My dick has a subreddit
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
