no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
