I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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