Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
no you cant smoke seaweed
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
