this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
