Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
