What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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