You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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